It’s Panda, Miss Dementia If You’re Nasty

Her eyes beckoned me from across the room - eyes that burn like cigarettes. That burn told me she was hungry and I knew that I would not survive the night without bruises and bite marks telling the story of her ravenous appetite.

I knew I had only a brief period before her attentions were turned onto someone else and I would lose the excruciatingly delicious affects of her lust. I nodded my acquiescence, excused myself from friends, and made my way from the hotel’s ballroom to the elevator. She would be soon to follow.

I had just barely made it to my room and begun to take off my shirt when she burst through the door, wild-eyed. I could smell her passion from where I stood. I had hoped that I would be fully undressed by the time she arrived, in order to save my wardrobe from the destruction that she frequently wrought upon it, but it was not to be.

She advanced upon me and in a whirlwind ripped the shirt from my hands and tore my slacks from my body. Now fully nude, she stepped back and devoured me with her eyes, licking her lips.

“You look like a greedy lioness about to go in for the kill,” I joked, feebly attempting to assuage the intensity of the situation and my nervousness about which wicked things she would do to me this time.

There was a glint in her eye and a small smile played on her lips as she said, “Greed is good.”

And she pounced.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This story was inspired by a few of the phrases posted for the wonderful Nola Erus’ #journaling game. I hope you will go and read the other submissions here.

I’ve been getting asked quite a bit lately what kind of birth control I recommend. Every woman’s body is different, obviously, so what works for me may not work for someone else, but I thought I’d give a run down of what I’ve used and what has worked for me:

Condoms

Condoms are pretty much the fall back of birth control, they’re easy to use, fairly cheap, and both men and women can take charge of this type of birth control. Sensitivity is a big thing to consider when using condoms, as most men say that it lessens sensitivity. I prefer feeling an un-sheathed penis inside of me than one with a condom and I know a lot of women who feel the same.

I believe that condoms should be used if you are not in a monogamous relationship, as a secondary form of birth control (in addition to another method) for extra protection, or, if you are in a monogamous relationship where both partners are STD free, if no other form of birth control is available.

Birth Control Pill

I have tried the birth control pill FemCon Fe. This is the daily, chewable pill. Femcon Fe, along with most other pills, suppress the hormones that cause ovulation. Femcon Fe’s website claims that it is over 99% effective. Most birth control pills range from $20-$50 a month and most health insurance companies cover it completely.

The thing that I don’t like about pills is the burden of having to remember to take them daily. I am a HIGHLY forgetful person and without the fantastic reminder alarm that I had on my phone, I’m sure I would have forgotten to take it on occasion. With this pill, you’re supposed to begin taking it on the first Sunday of your period. I did that. I kept bleeding for FOUR STRAIGHT WEEKS before I decided I wasn’t going to continue taking the pill. I stopped taking it, and I stopped bleeding. I know that because your hormones are being messed around with, your body is going to take a while to get used to it, but  in my eyes, four weeks of bleeding was ridiculous.

Birth Control Ring

NuvaRing is a small, flexible ring made of a polymer of ethylene vinyl acetate and magnesium stearate. It is designed to be inserted vaginally once a month. The ring stays in for three weeks, then you take it out for a week, and insert a new ring at the end of the fourth week. Like pills, the ring releases hormones that suppress ovulation. NuvaRings are also comparable in cost to the pill and is just as effective. The ring cannot be felt by a partner when having sex.

Here’s my issue with the NuvaRing: I got a prescription, put my first ring in with no problems, had no problems with it throughout the three weeks. At the end of that three weeks, though, I went to take it out and… IT WASN’T THERE. Yeah, it was nowhere to be found. I ended up going to my gyno to make sure it hadn’t gotten pushed further up into my uterus, but it hadn’t. It had fallen out at some point and I hadn’t noticed it. Thank the good Lord I didn’t get pregnant, because who knows how long it was out?! Needless to say, I didn’t continue to use the ring.

Birth Control Patch

Ortho Evra is a small (I’d say about 1″ square) patch that sticks to your skin, similar to a nicotine patch. It works in the same way the pill and the ring do, and is just as effective and similar in cost. You put one patch on per week for three weeks, with the fourth week being patch-free. You can wear it either on your buttock, on your abdomen, on the outer part of your upper arm, or anywhere on your upper torso (front OR back, excluding your breasts).

How cool does this look?

A double ended vibrator that twists 90 degrees for different variations of fun? Seriously cool, right?!

Well, the Climax Twist Vibrator performs just about as brilliantly as it looks.

This cute, purple (yes, I know, ANOTHER purple toy!) double vibrator is 12.5 inches long from tip to tip and 1.5 inches wide (enough to give you a deliciously full feeling when inserted). It has a fairly strong motor in both ends, each with 7 speed settings and independent controls. One tip of the toy is rounded, a la the Hitachi, the other is angled to be used for G-spot stimulation.

The  motors certainly don’t compare to the motor of a Hitachi or a Wahl, but they are stronger than most vibrator motors and were certainly enough to get me off, though not as quickly as the previously mentioned toys do.

The toy can either be used straight, which works well for clit-only stimulation when you’re playing on your own, or it can be twisted into a 90 degree angle, which gives you a great handle for G-spot-only stimulation when you’re playing on your own. When you’re with a partner, either position works well.

Did I mention that it’s cordless and rechargeable? Well, it is! An AC adapter comes with the toy and it’s very simple to plug in. The description of the toy on Adam & Eve’s website says that a single charge lasts roughly 30 to 35 minutes on the highest setting, and the instructions in the toy’s box tells  you to charge the toy before using it for the first time. However, it came already charged, I didn’t charge it before I used it the first time, I’ve used it 3 different times for a total of about 45 minutes of play and it STILL hasn’t died on me.

When I first saw this toy on Adam & Eve’s website, I was SO excited that I’d be able to have G-spot stimulation and clit stimulation AT THE SAME TIME with only ONE TOY when I was masturbating. Therein lies the ONLY problem I found with the Climax Twist: the toy is actually TOO long and when you insert the G-spot end of it, the rounded tip comes NO WHERE NEAR your clit.

Now I suppose if you had a REALLY deep G-spot, the Climax Twist would work as a simultaneous vibrator, but I believe for the normal woman, this toy fails at doing that.

What would make the toy better? Instead of having a twisting center, have a center made like a bendy straw. You know how you can bend & move & reposition a bendy straw? Yeah, like that. That way, you can have the G-spot vibrator in place and position the clit vibrator in whatever way works best for you. (Don’t worry, Adam & Eve, I only expect a small royalty when you start manufacturing the AWESOME dual vibrators based on my idea.)

As far as a powerful vibrator that can be used with a “friend” or on your G-spot and clit separately, the Climax Twist Vibrator(sold for $79.95)  succeeds marvelously.

And now it’s time for the breakdown:

PROS: Double ends gives you 2 options of pleasure, strong motor in each end, 7 different settings for each motor so you can find what works best for you, perfect width & length if you like to feel filled up, cordless, rechargeable, long battery life.

CONS: Cannot be used simultaneously on G-spot and clit, a little more pricey than other vibrators.

All in all, I was very satisfied with this toy, so I give it 4.5 out of 5 Happy Bamboos!

Disclaimer: I have a material connection and receive products, as in-kind payments, from Adam & Eve for review.

I’ve never tried a wooden sex toy, but dammit, I WANT TO! They look so sleek and artsy, and I’ve heard great things about how they feel.

Well, Epiphora is having a contest to give away a NobEssence wooden toy from SheVibe, so here’s my chance (and YOURS!) to win one and see what all the hullabaloo is about (yes, I just used an old time-y saying in my post. What of it?)!

There are a few ways to enter:

• 5 entries: Write a blog post about the giveaway. Use her graphic, just host it yourself. Be sure to mention the Twitter parties!
• 3 entries: Comment on this post telling Epiphora which NobEssence piece you want the most and why.
• 3 entries: Subscribe to Epiphora’s RSS feed or subscribe via email.

And the Twitter parties she mentions? Sounds like a great, fun idea:

“The most exciting way to enter this giveaway will be to attend one or both of the two Twitter parties I’ll be holding. YEAH, I’M GOING THERE. Com’n, it’ll be fun! We’ll use the hashtag#woodgasm, chat about sex toys, and each participant will earn an entry into the giveaway just for participating. I’ll also be asking trivia questions, and party-goers who are quickest to correctly answer these questions will get extra entries.”

Party #1: Saturday, June 12th, 2010, 3 p.m. — 4 p.m. PST. (what time for you?)
Party #2: Wednesday, June 16th, 2010, 6 p.m. — 7 p.m. PST. (what time for you?)

Make sure you’re following Epiphora on Twitter if you want to participate in the Twitter parties. Also, here is some reference material you may want to brush up on for the trivia portion:

• SheVibe’s NobEssence page
• NobEssence’s website (poke around)
• The Wikipedia article for “dildo”

So what are you waiting for?! You know you’re like me and want to try out one of these wooden bad boys, so get on entering!

Actually, the more I think about it… don’t worry about entering the contest. If you don’t, that’s just a better chance I have of winning!  ;-P

So don’t treat me like one.

Just because I disagree with some of your opinions, just because I express my concern about some of your actions, does NOT mean that I am judging you or that I am personally attacking you.

There is a HUGE difference between a personal attack and a dissenting opinion. This is a difference that not enough people understand. There are BAD people and then there are good people that make the occasional bad decision. When someone is under the opinion that an action you took was a bad decision, they are not calling you a bad person.

There are a lot of bloggers who get nasty, ridiculously insulting personal attacks via blog comments/emails/formspring questions/etc., but far too many of these bloggers are too quick to lump people who express dissenting opinions without personal attacks into this asshole category. Yes, sometimes people express dissenting opinions in heated, passionate ways, but even if they are calling your opinion ridiculous or your action “dickish”, that does not equate to them talking shit about you.

There are some bloggers who also claim that people are judgmental from a distance and judge only on what they read without seeking more details. I think this is silly because why should I, as a blog reader, assume that you are leaving details out of your stories or accounts of your experiences? You tell me what you want me to know, so of course I have to draw my conclusions from what I have read instead of assuming you haven’t told the whole story and asking you for the missing details. If I post a comment about your blog post and you think I have misunderstood what you were saying, then either clarify the points I misunderstood or just write me off as not understanding the intent of what you were saying or make sure you put everything you want people to know in the original blog post. There’s no need to take it as a personal affront, there’s no need to get hostile or pull the “DON’T JUDGE ME! YOU DON’T KNOW ME!” card.

I can understand not enjoying when people disagree with you (after all, everybody likes to be validated) but please, I beg of you, take a step back and evaluate the comment from a non-emotional standpoint before you react. Did the commenter say “I rarely hear you mention safe sex. I was wondering what you use to practice safe sex, if anything?” or did they say, “You never use protection when you whore around and I think it’s disgusting and you ought to be ashamed of yourself”? One is a personal attack, the other is a harmless question. I promise you, your life will be filled with a lot less drama if you can make this distinction.

Disclaimer: Though this post was inspired by a few certain bloggers and I took examples from certain blog posts, I in no way dislike these bloggers or think they are bad people. Quite the opposite, actually. I am simply disagreeing with the idea that expressing dissenting opinions or expressing concern is a personal attack. The End.

A post was written recently by Britni, an opinionated sex blogger who seems to have a lot of support (though I’m sure the vast majority of you who read this know who she is), about judging people. The blog post appears to be written in response to a post on Eden Cafe about Cheating.

Britni writes some very good things (mostly about sex & relationship choices) about not judging people because you never know how you’d handle it if you were in their shoes. A very well written post and I agree with her points, except for one thing:

It’s hypocritical. Why, you ask? Well, the same girl who is writing about not judging people does exactly that: judges people. HARSHLY sometimes. I follow her on Facebook and Twitter and I have seen many a judgmental thing pass through her feed. As of the time I’m writing this, I’m no longer able to see her past Facebook posts (maybe as a result of the comment I left on her blog post?), so I cannot give specific examples other than these two that I remember explicitly:

1) In response to the Focus on the Family video with Tim Tebow’s parents talking about their choice to NOT have an abortion, she said this: “Tim Tebow’s parents = crazypants.” When I posted a comment asking why the Tebow’s were “crazypants,” Britni did not give me an answer, but another follower of hers did: “Because they’re Christians, silly.”

2) She posted a link to an article called “Why Liberals Are More Intelligent Than Conservatives” and commented: “I just like the title.”

Now, it appears to me that Britni is against judging people, but only when those people’s views match up with her own, only when they are speaking out about things that she agrees on. Shouldn’t “not judging people” apply to religion and political affiliation as well as sexual orientation and relationship decisions?

Now, all that being said, Britni does point out that it’s easy to judge people, after all, we’re only human. And this is certainly true. It’s natural to judge someone when our moral compass differs from theirs. However, there is a HUGE difference between saying, “You’re ok with abortion? Well, I’m vehemently against it, but you’re entitled to your opinion” and calling someone names, “You’re ok with abortion and you speak out for pro-choice? You’re crazypants.”

Even if we judge others for doing things we don’t agree with or having opinions we don’t agree with, we need to respect their right to have their own opinion. Offer your opinion, start a healthy debate, but DO NOT “hate on” people that you don’t know just because they choose to speak out about something they believe in and then get upset about people judging you without knowing you.

Britni ends her post with this: “It’s not our place to judge other people; we can disagree all we want, but judgment is best excluded. Or at the very least, kept to ourselves.” Great advice. Make sure you follow it.

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth. I believe in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord and Savior.

I do not believe that the Bible as we have it now is infallible. I believe that it started out as God’s Word, but throughout the years, throughout the revisions and translations and the politics of the church, it has become distorted into “what man wants God’s Word to be.”

I believe the greatest lesson to take from the Bible is The Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This also ties into “Love Your Neighbor As Yourself.” I believe that too many Christians forget this and take it upon themselves to judge those around them instead of loving them unconditionally.

I believe, as I just said, that the church is full of politics and hypocritical and judgemental people, which turn a lot of people away from any sort of religion. This makes me sad.

I do not believe that you have to attend church in order to commune and have a relationship with God. I do not believe that there needs to be any third party in the middle of your communication with God.

I believe that God made he human body a beautiful thing. I do not believe that we are supposed to feel shameful of our bodies, shameful of being naked, otherwise Adam and Eve would not have been created as naked beings.

I believe that sex and sensuality are amazing, natural things. I believe that if God had made sex strictly for procreation, He wouldn’t have made it so fun!

I do not feel ashamed about the erotic words I write, I do not feel ashamed of the pictures I post. The only reason I keep my name off of these things is because I know it could be an issue if future employers ever find it. I do not believe that employers should have the right to discriminate on those who express their natural, God-given sensual sides. I live my life in a manner that not only makes me proud but I believe pleases God as well and I do not believe that anyone should judge me based on the fact that I like to take artistic, nude pictures and write sexy words.  Unfortunately, I’ve heard of many cases where this exact thing happened.

These are some of the things I believe and whether you agree with me or not, I love you unconditionally. Until you piss me off, that is. ;-p

I’ve totally been slacking on taking HNT pics lately and today is no different. I was going to take some new pics sometime today but I just haven’t had the motivation, so I’m going to share a pic that was taken at my birthday party back in October. My man and I and some friends were out at a bar for karaoke, the bottom button on my dress wouldn’t stay buttoned, and my honey decided to let his hand wander. Of course, I didn’t stop him.

I promise I’ll be a good girl and get some new pictures for you this weekend. But if I fail, feel free to spank me.

Make sure you check out Osbasso’s blog for other HNT submissions.

Enjoy! <3

I know I’m a little late for Blog for Choice Day (it was back on Friday, January 22 and it celebrated the 37th anniversary of Roe v. Wade), but I’ve been giving my opinions some thought and decided to post what I’ve come up with.

I am Pro-Choice.

I strongly believe that you have the CHOICE to have sex.

If you are not prepared to have sex RESPONSIBLY, then DON’T HAVE SEX.

If you DO have sex responsibly but are not prepared to deal with the consequences of a rare birth control failure, then DON’T HAVE SEX.

I had an unplanned pregnancy my senior year in college. Was I prepared for it? Hell no. I was young, I wasn’t settled, didn’t have a job, wasn’t emotionally prepared to have a child. Was abortion an option? HELL NO. Despite my lack of preparation, killing the child growing inside of me was not even a thought.

Yes, that’s right, I said KILLING A CHILD. Because that’s what abortion is. It’s not “termination,” it’s not “ending a pregnancy,” it’s KILLING a LIVING HUMAN. These terms are euphemisms. The dictionary definition of a euphemism is this: the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt. Is that not exactly what these terms are? No one wants to hear that they are killing their baby, because that’s the harsh truth. Instead, most women who get abortions dance around what they are really doing to make it easier on themselves. Any one who needs to use a euphemism to refer to their “choice” to have an abortion is, in my eyes, not mentally ready to have an abortion.

My decision to never have an abortion had nothing to do with my Christian faith. I wasn’t even a Christian when I made the decision. When I was in middle school, we watched an abortion video in Science class. It was called “Silent Scream.” In this video, we saw the effects of an abortion through an ultrasound. We saw a baby being ripped limb from limb as it was sucked forcefully out of it’s mother’s uterus. We saw the baby’s head being crushed by forceps so that it could be pulled out of the mother. We saw buckets of discarded baby parts in the back room of an abortion clinic. Seeing the HORROR and VIOLENCE of what goes on in an abortion made my decision against abortion for me.

A BABY aborted at 22 weeks

If you have not seen “Silent Scream,” I highly suggest you watch it here. It is powerful and disturbing, and if you are for abortion, I hope that it gives you a new perspective on it.

So, abortion was not an option for me. I faced the consequences of my CHOICE to have sex. I went to classes when I was dealing with morning sickness, I made up my assignments on the days that I couldn’t get out of bed, I finished up my degree and I continued  to work so that I could support the little miracle growing inside of me and I grew the fuck up. Despite the fact that it was an unplanned pregnancy, my son was the biggest blessing I could have ever asked for. Even when I was struggling to support us, even when the rest of my childless friends were able to go out for the evening and I was stuck at home with my baby, I never regretted it, I never wished that I could go back and change it. I had made my CHOICE and I was happy to live with it, as difficult as it could be at times.

When thinking about abortion, I became curious as to how many women who have them end up regretting them. Upon Googling “post abortion support,” I found HUNDREDS of groups dedicated to helping women cope with having abortions. If there was no need for these groups, they wouldn’t exist. According to ClinicQuotes.com, in a five year study cited in “Report on the Committee on the Operation of the Abortion Law” (Ottawa, Canada, 1977, p 20-1), 25% of women who had abortion sought out psychiatric care later, as opposed to only 3% of women who did not have abortions.”

Some women who feel fine about their abortions immediately after may even develop psychiatric problems later on in their life as a result. David Reardon, author of Aborted Women: Silent No More (Westchester, Ill.:Crossway Books, 1987, 116) says:

A woman that a six-month post-abortion survey declares “well-adjusted” may experience severe trauma on the anniversary of the abortion date, or even many years later. This fact is attested to in psychiatric textbooks which affirm that…”the psychiatrist frequently hears expressions of remorse and guilt concerning abortions that occurred twenty or more years earlier.” In one study, the number of women who expressed “serious self-reproach” increased fivefold over the period of time covered by the study.

There can also be many physical consequences of an abortion, including damage to the uterus, damage to the cervix, damage to other internal organs, heavy bleeding, infection, sepsis, etc. If the “choice” for abortion is such a good one, such a “blessing” as Rev. Katherine Ragsdale puts it (this article was brought to my attention by Brit’s post for Blog for Choice day), why would women’s bodies and minds react in such a way?

1.3 million abortions a year. Is that really acceptable in a country where birth control is easily accessible? Over at the Champagne and Benzedrine blog, he quotes “Tammy Bruce, a self-proclaimed ‘conservative feminist’”. She says: “With every kind of birth control available in the world, abortion is not something to be proud of. If you need an abortion, you’ve failed.” I don’t know if “failed” is the right word, so much as you’ve refused to accept the consequences of your CHOICE.

So what now? Well, I think that women AND men need to be educated on what abortion REALLY is. If someone took a hit of acid which caused them to be violent and kill someone, you wouldn’t call it a “blessing” and applaud their choice to do what they want with their body. You would call it a tragedy and think what a bad CHOICE that person made. That may be a harsh comparison, but that’s pretty much what’s happening. Women are making the CHOICE of what to do with their bodies and innocent humans are getting killed in their wake.

“Early feminist Mattie Brinkerhoff, writing in Victorian women’s rights magazine The Revolution, said the following:

When a man steals to satisfy hunger, we may safely conclude that there is something wrong in society. So when a woman destroys the life of her unborn child, it is an evidence that either by education or circumstances she has been greatly wronged.” (Champagne and Benzedrine)

Instead of fighting for the right to kill, let’s fight for the right to educate and protect.

These questions come from the TMI Tuesday blog. Check it out!

Would you rather…..

1. A relaxing vacation or an adventurous trip? Can’t I do both? Seriously, the perfect vacation would have lots of relaxation AND lots of adventure, but if I have to choose just ONE, right now it would have to be a relaxing vacation. With all of the activity of the holidays and frustrations of dealing with the power company lately, I definitely need some time to lie on a beach and do absolutely nothing.
2. Get a perfect nights sleep or have amazing sex? Sex, definitely. I can sleep when I’m dead! I wanna fuck!!
3. Be intimate with the lights on or off? On or at least dimly lit. I like to be able to see my partner’s reactions.
4. Your S/O be a terrible kisser who could always make you orgasm or an amazing kisser who could never make you orgasm? An amazing kisser. I love making out & kissing is a very intimate act for me, and I can always make myself cum if need be.
5. Date someone much younger or much older than you? Older. I like maturity & experience.

Bonus (as in optional): Which reality show would you be good at? Why? It’s not on anymore, but I would have loved to be on “The Mole” AS the mole. I think I’d be good at getting people to trust me & hiding my true intentions (not that I’ve had any experience with that, but I’ve always wanted to be an actress) as well as stealthily throwing the challenges.