It’s Panda, Miss Dementia If You’re Nasty

Yes, it’s true! I have returned! Despite my promise last time that I’d be better about blogging, life got in the way once again. What better way to return, though, then by reviewing the porn parody of one of my favorite shows – The Big Bang Theory?

I LOVE The Big Bang Theory (yes, I AM a geek, and proud of it!), so I was very excited to see this DVD on the Adam & Eve site (I really don’t follow the new releases of porn, so I didn’t know they had made this one). I was hoping that the parody would be at least a fraction as good as the actual show is.

Before I get into my review, let me give you some of the details:

Director: Lee Roy Myers

Writer: Bensen Hearst

Studio: New Sensations

Runtime: 163 mins. (for the full version, approx. 120 mins for the “Party Version”)

DVD Extras: The Party Version, Bloopers, Behind the Scenes, Bonus Scene, Cumshot Recap, Photo Gallery

Cast

Ashlynn Brooke  - Penny

Brianna Blair – Slutty Leia

Beverly Hills – Leslie Winkle

Halie James – unnamed

Kristina Rose – unnamed

Charley Chase – unnamed

Joey Brass – Leonard

Gabriel D’alessandro (only pic I could find of him!) – Raj

Rocco Reed – Sheldon

Vin Vericose – Howard

I had never seen one of Lee Roy Meyers’ films before, nor had I seen anything that Bensen Hearst had written before or seen any of the actresses or actors in anything before, so I didn’t come into the film with any preconceived notions of how it would be made or performed. I was ready to jump right into it, though, and eager to see my beloved geekiness mixed with pure, unadulterated FUCKING.

The film opens on Leonard dozing on the couch next to Sheldon and within 10 seconds of the opening, we jump right into a sex scene within a dream. It doesn’t get into any of the story, other than Leonard wishing for a “slutty Leia.” The film certainly begins with a BANG, though, as the sex scene is pretty damn hot, and includes a BJ, some pussy licking, and lots of fucking, wrapped up with a facial. The only problem with this scene was that it was 30 minutes in length. A little too long, if you ask me. I’m far too impatient to sit through the whole thing, so I fast forwarded through a bit of it. It seemed like they went from start to finish, without any editing or shortening at all. At one point, it even looks like Joey Brass looks to the director and shakes his head, as if saying that he’s not ready to blow yet.

After this scene, we finally get into the story, the basics of which seemed to be fairly well written. The four roommates have made fake Comic Con passes and decide they need to try them out at the comic book store to test their believability. This plot point is never carried forward, however. Instead, we get distracted by neighbor Penny’s girl-on-girl-on-girl threesome with Kristina Rose and Halie James while the 4 boys watch on a webcam that Howard installed on Penny’s laptop without her knowing. Lucky for them, Penny keeps her laptop pointed right at her bed! According to the Behind the Scenes section of the DVD, this is Halie James’ very first film, and I definitely want to see her in more. The entire scene, although again too long, was extremely hot.

The “story line” then jumps to something that is completely out of place – Raj & Sheldon sitting in the University cafeteria, talking about wanting to convince Leslie Winkler to let them use her computer. In order for her to comply, of course, she demands that they fuck her – RIGHT THERE IN THE UNIVERSITY CAFETERIA. Weird, but whatever. I guess it’s just a really open University. This sex scene runs about 30 minutes in length, as well, and I, once again, fast forwarded through some of it. It was an okay scene – nothing spectacular – and included lots of oral and vaginal sex.

From there, we move on to Howard’s house, where he has managed to bring home a hot chick (Charley Chase). We get some of the classic dialogue (more specifically, yelling) from Howard’s mother during the beginning of this scene, but they fail to continue it through the actual sex scene, which disappointed me because it would have been HILARIOUS. I was a little distracted by the fact that Charley Chase gives the NOISIEST and MESSIEST blowjob I’ve ever seen, but with a bit of fastforwarding, I was able to get to the end of this 25 minute scene. The one thing that I really liked about this scene, though, and about Charley Chase, was that she stayed “in character” during the scene by calling out Howard’s name, whereas in the other scenes, there was nothing in them that distinguished them from any other porn sex scene.

The next scene shows us the boys returning from the first day of Comic Con, where they had all dressed up, and apparently their counterfeit passes worked out just fine. They run into Penny, who has dressed in a slutty Leia costume as a sign to Leonard that she has forgiven him for a fight that they had earlier (I’m not going to say what their fight was about so I don’t spoil the ENTIRE short story line). They retreat to her room and, in true porn film fashion, GET IT ON. It was very similar to the other two male-female sex scenes, but it wasn’t bad.

So, to sum up the film, everybody fucks and lives happily ever after. The writing is okay (although do we really think Sheldon would be able to have sex without completely freaking out about it?), the acting is “meh”, the sex scenes are pretty good, and the sets actually look a lot like those in the show. The one thing that stood out to me was that there were no anal scenes, so if you like anal, this isn’t the movie for you, but if you are a fan of The Big Bang Theory and you don’t have high expectations of much of an actual PLOT, then this would be a good DVD to add to your collection.

I give this film 3 out of 5 Happy Bamboos.

Disclaimer:I have a material connection and receive products, as in-kind payments, from Adam & Eve for review.