It’s Panda, Miss Dementia If You’re Nasty

Photo courtesy of Elle from Kink Unleashed

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #18? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

Editor’s Note: A little change in how things are done for this edition – you’ll notice there are no “Top 3″ picks – due in part to the holiday I ended up being extremely short on judges and I didn’t have enough for fair voting. So instead, I expanded my “Featured Post”. (If you’d like to volunteer to be an occasional judge for e[lust], just email me, Lilly, at questions.e.lust @ gmail.com) Also, please be sure to check out the new summer schedule in effect until the 20th edition.

~ Featured Posts (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Why Pride is Still Important – When someone tells me that they don’t think Pride is necessary, I can’t help but believe that they go through life with tunnel vision. I live in New York where for the most part I can walk around being a big ol’ queen and I’ll make it home alive, but there are people who live in places where they can’t. Even here in New York you’ll get called a faggot from time to time by passing cars or groups of punks, and even here in New York I hear stories of people getting the shit kicked out of them just because they were gay.

Fantasies and Condoms – Our culture has created a narrative in which sex only feels good and looks sexy if no one is protected. We’re all suffering from this narrative, but sex workers are probably suffering the most.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Some days we need a little hope – I encourage you to practice random acts of kindness that could be worthy of inclusion on the site (GivesMeHope.com). Be nice, be caring, let your heart open up just for the sake of bringing someone some happiness or comfort. Do you know how good it feels to just give?

See also: Pleasurists #83 and #84 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Kink & Fetish

An Anal Adventure

Bound in the Night

Being a Tart

Danger may explode without warning

Found It: Pearls for the Submissive Wife

Morning Rituals

Shoe Slut

(another!) Shoe Slut

Spanking my ass while fucking so he feels every wiggle

Submission is impossible in the absence of humanity

Strip, boy

Swallow Falls

The Trigger

The Beast with Three Backs

Erotic Writing

A long hot day

And then we kissed…

A Picture of Lust

Ass Plug

‘Come For Me…’

Depths

Exchange II

Forbidden Fantasy

Fucking Mika for the first time

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

Getting Off…On The Road

Katie’s First Time

Master Class

My Favourite Waste of Time

Microfantasy Monday, week 84: Addiction

Picture to Word 2

Sociable

Saturday Night Plans

Safe Sex

The Train

Thunderstorms are Sexy

Teaching Respect (Part 1)

You First

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Adventures in Birth Control

Erotic Awakening: A Swinger’s Comments

Friends With Benefits His Lush Behind!

Getting Started – Hotel Parties

Greetings From The Deep End – Swinging and Openness

How To Have Multiple Orgasms

Mr. Strong

Play Safe. Stay Safe. Get Tested. Be Protected.

Political Cuddling: Asking, Talking, Touching

Reflections on Glass

Something I Wish I’d Had 10 Years Ago

Sex: A required part of the college curriculum

Shades of Grey

Three’s Company

Ten Life Lessons I’m Learning from Enslavement

Uncomfortable

Walk of Shut The Fuck Up

Sex News, Interviews, Politics and Humor

Interview with Scarlett Chaos aka Essin’Em

The Media is Not Responsible for Your Poor Body Image

To Shave or Not to Shave

So don’t treat me like one.

Just because I disagree with some of your opinions, just because I express my concern about some of your actions, does NOT mean that I am judging you or that I am personally attacking you.

There is a HUGE difference between a personal attack and a dissenting opinion. This is a difference that not enough people understand. There are BAD people and then there are good people that make the occasional bad decision. When someone is under the opinion that an action you took was a bad decision, they are not calling you a bad person.

There are a lot of bloggers who get nasty, ridiculously insulting personal attacks via blog comments/emails/formspring questions/etc., but far too many of these bloggers are too quick to lump people who express dissenting opinions without personal attacks into this asshole category. Yes, sometimes people express dissenting opinions in heated, passionate ways, but even if they are calling your opinion ridiculous or your action “dickish”, that does not equate to them talking shit about you.

There are some bloggers who also claim that people are judgmental from a distance and judge only on what they read without seeking more details. I think this is silly because why should I, as a blog reader, assume that you are leaving details out of your stories or accounts of your experiences? You tell me what you want me to know, so of course I have to draw my conclusions from what I have read instead of assuming you haven’t told the whole story and asking you for the missing details. If I post a comment about your blog post and you think I have misunderstood what you were saying, then either clarify the points I misunderstood or just write me off as not understanding the intent of what you were saying or make sure you put everything you want people to know in the original blog post. There’s no need to take it as a personal affront, there’s no need to get hostile or pull the “DON’T JUDGE ME! YOU DON’T KNOW ME!” card.

I can understand not enjoying when people disagree with you (after all, everybody likes to be validated) but please, I beg of you, take a step back and evaluate the comment from a non-emotional standpoint before you react. Did the commenter say “I rarely hear you mention safe sex. I was wondering what you use to practice safe sex, if anything?” or did they say, “You never use protection when you whore around and I think it’s disgusting and you ought to be ashamed of yourself”? One is a personal attack, the other is a harmless question. I promise you, your life will be filled with a lot less drama if you can make this distinction.

Disclaimer: Though this post was inspired by a few certain bloggers and I took examples from certain blog posts, I in no way dislike these bloggers or think they are bad people. Quite the opposite, actually. I am simply disagreeing with the idea that expressing dissenting opinions or expressing concern is a personal attack. The End.