It’s Panda, Miss Dementia If You’re Nasty

It had been an exhausting day, herding a group of 3rd graders during a field trip at the zoo on what turned out to be the hottest day of the year. As soon as I got home, I stripped and laid down on the bed, under the fan, willing myself to cool off. I hadn’t planned on it, but I fell asleep.

I awoke to the sound of my husband, Evan, returning from the computer programming company he works for. I heard him come in the door, drop his stuff off in his office and walk toward the bedroom. He peeked his head in the door and his eyes lit up when he saw me on the bed, naked.

“Well hello, gorgeous. Tough day?”

I sighed. “Very tough. We had the field trip today and it was exhausting. I had to stop Tyler from climbing into a few different animal cages. I passed out soon after I got home.”

He furrowed his brow in concern. “Yikes.” Then the sparkle in his eye and mischievous grin returned. “I made something for you today that I think will be perfect to take your mind off of this tough day. And you’re in the perfect position to enjoy it.”

“Ooh! A surprise?! I can’t wait to see it!”

He stepped a little further into the room and opened the double doors wide. “Robo, come,” he commanded.

I gasped as a 4 foot high machine that looked like something out of a sci-fi movie rolled into the room.

“Wha… what is it?” I stammered.

“A little something I put together for you, something to keep you company when I’m away. Will you scoot toward the end of the bed so I can show you what it does?”

I hesitantly did what he asked.

“Robo, turn.” The machine turned itself toward me.

“Robo, dildo.” A door on the front of the machine popped open and with a mechanical groan, a bar with a dildo attached slid out.

“Evan, ohmigod! You can’t be serious!”

“Come on, love, I spent a lot of time building and programming this. At least give it a try.”

I bit my lip uncertainly. “Ugh, ok, fine.”

“Good girl. Robo, lube.” Another “arm” slid out of the robot and squirted lube on my pussy, making me gasp at the cold slickness. “Now will you slide yourself a little bit down on the dildo?”

I did as my husband asked, moaning as I pushed my pussy down on the thick dildo.

“Robo, thrust.” The dildo arm started thrusting into me at a slow pace. As much as I didn’t want to, I couldn’t help but moan at how good it felt.

“Robo, faster.” The dildo thrusted faster.

“Robo, vibrate.” A third arm with a round nub on the end slid from the machine and made contact with my clit. It began to vibrate and I moaned even louder.

Evan sunk down on the bed next to me and began kissing my neck. “Now I want you to control him. He recognizes over 100 commands. Just make sure you say his name first,” he whispered into my ear. He slid his tongue down to my nipples and began suckling on them, causing my hips to twitch in response.

“Umm… Robo… thrust harder.” The machine responded immediately. “Oh God… Robo… vibrate faster.” The vibrations on my clit sped up.

Being filled with a thick, thrusting cock, having amazingly on point vibrations on my clit, and having my husband suck and nibble on my nipples had me screaming in orgasm in a very short time. And then again. After the third orgasm, I needed a break.

Breathless, I managed one last command: “Robo, stop.” The thrusting and vibration stopped, and the arms retracted into the body of the machine.

Evan stopped playing with my nipples and looked up at me, smiling. “So am I right to assume you like your present?”

All I could manage was a satisfied groan in response.

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This story was written for Microfantasy Monday. Sweltering Celt’s theme for this week was “anything geeky.” I hope you enjoyed my take on it!

This in my ass:

Plus this in my pussy:

Plus my love(r)’s mouth & tongue on my clit

Equals

The Best. Orgasm. EVER.

The vibration from the butt plug is intensified by the glass dildo and sent up into my clit, which is already being assaulted by my man’s tongue. Having the plug & the dildo in gives a deliciously full feeling. The large bulb on the dildo hits my G-spot perfectly. All of these things combined result in the most intense, explosive orgasm I’ve ever had.

If you want to try it out, you can find both of the toys at Adam & Eve, but you’ll need to find your own man! Mine’s not for sale!  ;-P

I <3 purple. That’s why I jumped on this glass dildo as the first in my collection instead of any of the others that Adam & Eve have to offer. I didn’t know anything about glass dildos other than they look pretty, and the Curved Beaded Glass Dildo certainly is pretty, but I was pleased that it was as fun as it was attractive. I wasn’t thrilled with the choice in red for the velvet storage pouch (hey, I’m picky about my color schemes!), but I loved the aesthetic value of the purple glass, the beads, the curves, the twists and turns.

One of the great things about a glass dildo is that they are ideal for temperature play. You can refrigerate them to add a chill to your fun or soak them in a bowl of warm water to heat things up. Because I figure I have enough heat “down there,” I decided to put the dildo in the freezer for a while to try out the drastic change in temperature.  I then proceeded to forget about the dildo in the freezer so when I first started trying it out, I almost gave myself frostbite! Yeah, I’m lame. Once it warmed up slightly, though, it was a very interesting sensation to have such a cold, hard thing in such a hot, soft place. A GOOD, interesting sensation.

I first tried inserting the slender, twisted end and though the twists hit my G-spot fairly well, it didn’t really blow me away. The twists on the slender end are great for clit stimulation, though.

After not getting the bang that I was looking for from the slender end, I decided to try inserting the other end of the 6 inch dildo, the end with the largest bead. This bead is 1.25 inches wide, so it may be too wide for any novice toy users, but this bead make the PERFECT G-spot stimulator. While the rest of the beads provide sensations along the vaginal walls, this largest bead fits perfectly just above the G-spot ridge and rubs the G-spot in just the right way. I’m not someone who can get off on just G-spot stimulation using a toy, but this dildo, bead side in, and my Hitachi made for an explosive orgasm.

The only problem with inserting the bead side is that the slender side doesn’t offer much of a hand grip. My wrist began to cramp up after a while because of the odd angle I had to use to hold onto the slender end.

So, to sum it all up:

Positives - aesthetically pleasing, 2 insertable ends, twisted slender end is fun, bead end is a great G-spot stimulator, great for temperature play, velvet storage pouch, affordable (only $24.95)

Negatives - beaded end might be too wide for some, slender end is a poor handle when inserting the beaded end

I give this toy a total of 4 out of 5 Happy Bamboos!

Disclosure: I have a material connection and receive products, as in-kind payments, from Adam & Eve for review.