It’s Panda, Miss Dementia If You’re Nasty

It’s time for another sex toy review! This time, it’s a vibrator from EdenFantasys. The White Heat Double Delights Vibrator is a vibrator made by Doc Johnson, which may give the product an immediate black ball from some, but I did my due diligence and tried out the rabbit vibrator.

The White Heat is a dual bullet rabbit-style vibrator – one bullet in the tip of the insertable portion for G-spot stimulation, and one bullet in the nub that provides clit stimulation. The bullets are turned on by a dial located on the bottom of the vibrator – giving the user a wide range of speeds to choose from. The vibrator has a swirl up the length of it and a thick head, adding to the stimulation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The White Heat is made from soft TPR silicone and is phthalate free and non-toxic. It measures 6 1/2″ long, with 3 1/2″ of that insertable. It’s 1″ in diameter.

Now for my experience with the toy: the best part of this vibrator is the flexibility of the shaft. This allows you to manipulate the toy so that you can aim the clit bullet to wherever you need it. The worst part: even though the box claims that the bullets are powerful, they fell far short of my definition of powerful. I spent quite a while trying different positions of the clit bullet, different combinations of the shaft to clit stim ratio… and I could not get myself off. Simply because the bullets weren’t enough. Despite the two bullets, the large head, and the shaft swirl, the toy just couldn’t give me enough stimulation to get me off.

 

 

 

 

So, the White Heat Double Delights was far from delightful for me, but with someone who has less of a need for intense vibration, it might work just fine.

 

All in all, I give the White Heat Double Delights 2 out of 5 Happy Bamboos.

 

 

 

 

To start this review off, I am going to tell you a story:

Once upon a time, Princess Panda had a large, thick dildo that she absolutely LOVED and that helped give her FANTASTIC orgasms. One day, though, the evil Ratso escaped from his cage and chewed up the Princess’ beloved dildo. She was sad. The end.

At least that was the end until Princess Panda found Bree’s Colossal Cock on Adam & Eve. It was the same length and the same girth as her beloved dildo, may it rest in peace. Or in pieces, as it were. She asked the lovely people at Adam & Eve to send her this big, blue cock so that she could try it out and see if it could hold a candle to the old one. They sent it, she tried it, and boy, did it hit the spot. Literally. Princess Panda was ecstatic, and her kingdom benefitted largely from her happiness. The real end.

Did you enjoy that little story? Well, I’m positive you’ll enjoy this dildo even more.

Bree’s Colossal Cock is made of firm yet flexible PVC and weighs over a pound. It is 5.25″ long and 2″ wide, which makes it ideal for anyone who wants some girth to play with. It is realistically shaped, with a flared head that hits the G-spot perfectly. The dildo is also waterproof with a strong suction cup on the bottom, which allows lots of shower or bath time fun. Adam & Eve’s website claims that it fits into most strap-on harnesses, but I don’t have a harness and wasn’t able to test out that claim. I think a harness will be my next purchase, though, because I think the Colossal Cock would be incredibly fun to fuck someone else with.

When paired with my Hitatchi, the Colossal Cock gave me a mind-blowing orgasm and I have no doubt it’ll do the same for you! Enjoy!

I am happy to give Bree’s Colossal Cock 5 out of 5 Happy Bamboos!

Disclaimer: I have a material connection and receive products, as in-kind payments, from Adam & Eve for review.

In the deep philosophical question of “natural/trimmed/shaved/waxed?”, my answer is shaved. I’ve never gotten around to getting waxed (both because I don’t like to let the hair get long enough to be waxed and because I’m a chickenshit when it comes to thinking about THAT kind of pain), and I don’t like to be au natural, so shaving is the best (and quickest and cheapest) option I have. However, after shaving, I usually have to spend a day or two being itchy from my panties rubbing against my freshly shaved skin. No fun at all.

That’s why I jumped at the chance to try and review Adam & Eve’s Coochy Aftershave Powder. I use the Coochy brand Shave Cream and I love it (and if you’ve never used it, I HIGHLY suggest that you start!), so I didn’t have any doubt that the Aftershave Powder would please me, as well.

I tried this sexy extra yesterday morning, after I had shaved, and was at first impressed by the lightness of the powder (if that makes any sense) and how refreshing it felt to pat it on. The powder comes with a little powder puff, and of course that feels nice on bare skin, but the lavender-scented powder made my skin feel fresh.

The real test was wearing clothes (and specifically, cotton panties) for the rest of the day. The result? No itching! I hate to sound like a feminine product commercial, but I seriously felt dry and fresh all day. Today? No powder and I itched. And I swear it’s not the crabs. ;-P

Lemme give you some product details:

Weight: .46 oz

Ingredients: Mica, Boron Nitride, Zinc Stearate, Silica, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice Powder, Zinc Oxide, Fragrance

Usage: After Shaving, Bathing or Anytime

Promises To: absorb moisture, reduce friction, banish itch, and leave you feeling clean, dry, and confident!

Cost: $9.95

I would definitely recommend this product to any woman who shaves. I give the powder 4 out of 5 Happy Bamboos!

Disclaimer: I have a material connection and receive products, as in-kind payments, from Adam & Eve for review.

It’s been a while since I’ve participated in MicroFantasy Monday, so please excuse me if I’m a little rusty, but here’s my attempt at taking on the theme of “Opening”:

We were lying on my bed, half-clothed. She interrupted our hot and heavy makeout session and ordered me to sit up, close my eyes and put out my hands. I did as she requested, always eager for a surprise. I heard her rustling around in her bag and then a light package was placed into my hands.

“Open,” she demanded.

I opened my eyes and stole a glimpse of her gorgeous breasts, a sight which made my clit throb, before looking down at the box. It was long & thin, wrapped nicely with a bow.

As I tore open the paper, I asked, “What is this for?”

“No special reason, just something I thought we could have fun with.”

I got the wrapping paper off and lifted off the lid of the box.

*gasp* “A spreader bar?”

She leaned down and kissed me deeply, tongue darting around my mouth. As her lips parted from mine, she whispered, “Yes, love. I want to see you opened for me. Now finish stripping.”

Always incredibly turned on by her forceful side, I quickly slid off my jeans and panties. She ran her fingers lightly over my bare pubic lips, causing my hips to arch and a gasp to escape my lips.

She pushed me back down on the bed and removed the bar from it’s box. She attached one cuff to my left ankle, kissing my foot tenderly. Then she roughly grabbed my right knee and pushed my thighs apart, buckling the other side of the spreader bar to my right ankle.

She stood back and examined me and, apparently not satisfied with the results, slid the spreader bar apart until it was locked in an even longer position. Again, she stood back and examined her work.

I had never been this wide open for anyone before, never been examined so clinically like this. I felt utterly mortified. A warm flush invaded my cheeks and I wished she would just get it over with.

A small smirk played on her lips. “Yes, I think that will do.” She bent forward and kissed my neck, fingers playing along my open lips. “You have such a pretty pussy, my love. The prettiest I’ve ever seen. One last surprise for that pretty pussy, though…”

She turned and grabbed my Throe from beside the bed, pushing it under my ass. Then she reached into her bag again and pulled out a large bottle of lube. She opened up the bottle and poured some onto her fingers and then began working it into my pussy.

She looked at me, a twinkle playing in her eye. “I know you’ve been fantasizing about being fisted. Tonight, we’re going to make that fantasy a reality. You WILL open up for me, won’t you?”

I moaned in anticipation and agreement as she set to work.

In honor of Eddie Izzard, who is amazing and sexy and who I am seeing perform tonight LIVE (WOOOOOO!), I give you… My box. Enjoy!

Make sure you check out the other Half-Nekkid Thursday submissions over at Osbasso’s blog!

“Dammit, babe, you know I hate surprises. Can you just show me, please?!” This blindfolded shit had gone on long enough, I was ready for it to be over.
“Be patient, honey, I’m almost done.”
I sighed in frustration as I heard him rustling around with something, heard something being dragged across the floor of our bedroom, heard some banging and metallic clanking sounds. I knew his surprises were always worth the wait, but I was SO not in the mood for games and the fact that I could not for the life of me figure out what he was doing frustrated me even more.
“Pleeeaaassee, babe! Just give it to me!” I whined.
“Oh, don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll give it to you shortly,” he countered, his voice dripping with innuendo.
I pouted as I sat on the bed, waiting for him to finish whatever the fuck he was doing. Finally I heard the noises stop, I heard him give a satisfied sigh, and then I heard him walk over to in front of where I sat. I thought I would feel his hands on the back of my head, untying the blindfold but instead, his hands went immediately to my bare knees.
My heart jumped when they slid up my thighs under my dress and lightly brushed over my bare pussy. My frustration disappeared as I became instantly wet.
His hands kept moving, back outside of my dress, unbuttoning each of the long row of buttons slowly, from the bottom up. Once unbuttoned, he slipped the dress off of my shoulders and ran his hands lightly over my tummy and breasts, giving me goosebumps and sending a jolt up my spine. His lips pressed into the base of my neck, sending even more jolts through me.
I felt his hard cock pressing into my thigh as he reached around me to unhook my bra. Part of his prep time had apparently been spent undressing. After slipping off my bra and fondling my breasts for what seemed like a glorious eternity, his hands made their way back up my neck to the back of my head.
“Are you ready to see your surprise?” he whispered into my ear.
Breathless, excited, all I could do was nod.
He untied the blindfold and tossed it on to the bed, giving me my first glimpse of my present: a beautiful leather Love Swing, suspended from the ceiling at the foot of our bed.
A huge smile appeared on his face as he saw the excited gleam in my eye. “Let’s get to trying it out, beautiful.”

This week’s Microfantasy Monday theme is “Frustration.” Keep up with the themes at @celticfrog‘s blog!

Hey lovers, this is my BFF’s first time writing a MicroFantasy Monday piece and, funnily enough, she didn’t even know the theme for the week, but it fits well! I’m proud to feature her stories on my blog, hopefully there will be a lot more! The theme of “Frustration” is brought to us by Sweltering Celt!

“You’re driving me crazy” he whispered as I ran my tongue over his ear and gently bit his lobe. His body jerked and as he moaned, his hot breath caressed my cheek. His body was beading with sweat with every touch; his beautiful, hard cock getting harder by the second.

I kissed every inch of his body, savoring the salty taste of his sweat and growing wetter myself as I did. His soft moans were unexpected and I wished I could exist right there, right then for the rest of my life. I’d been waiting for him to take me, to ravage me, to love me, to fuck me…often lying awake wondering what his lips would feel like against mine; his cock slipping deep inside of me.

There I was with him, alone and free. The momentum of the past 5 years was burning deeply in both of us.

“You’re not being fair, beautiful” he panted.

“I’m not?” I coyly replied before softy biting his bottom lip and sucking on it. He writhed beneath the sheets and I explored more of his body; the inside of his thighs, his hips, his ass, his balls rolling gently between my fingers…I was losing my mind with passion. I was so wet I could barely contain myself. I wanted him so bad and I knew he wanted me too.

“I want to be inside you” he whispered breathlessly before pushing me on my back. “I want you, all of you, all at once. It’s been too long”.  He took one of my rock hard nipples in his mouth and sucked it with a force that made me wince and moan; his tongue flicking back and forth. I could have cum right there had another minute escaped us.

Again I traced the outline of his lips with my tongue; again his body jerked with anticipation, our hunger growing. “You know something” I whispered….”we very well may never again exist in this moment like this again.”

He slid his hand through my sweat-drenched hair and gave it a rough tug. A tug that arched my neck up and met his lips to mine. His kiss set my entire body on fire; I couldn’t handle it any longer. I had never felt so much passion, so much heat, such primal urging within me to pull a man deep within and roar as one. His tongue darted across mine, his hands grabbing and pulling at me. I could smell his longing to be in my pussy, to explore me with his hard cock.

“Fuck me” I whispered as I grabbed two fists of the jet-black hair that crowned his beautiful face. “Fuck me right now” I insisted. For the moments that followed our bodies thrashed together like an angry ocean storm; his breath hot and strong against my body. I hungered for every last inch of him and pulled him in as deep as I could take it.

My flesh tingled like nothing I’d ever felt before; everything about me was ablaze. With him, in that stolen moment, I felt completely whole for the first time in my entire life.