It’s Panda, Miss Dementia If You’re Nasty

How cool does this look?

A double ended vibrator that twists 90 degrees for different variations of fun? Seriously cool, right?!

Well, the Climax Twist Vibrator performs just about as brilliantly as it looks.

This cute, purple (yes, I know, ANOTHER purple toy!) double vibrator is 12.5 inches long from tip to tip and 1.5 inches wide (enough to give you a deliciously full feeling when inserted). It has a fairly strong motor in both ends, each with 7 speed settings and independent controls. One tip of the toy is rounded, a la the Hitachi, the other is angled to be used for G-spot stimulation.

The  motors certainly don’t compare to the motor of a Hitachi or a Wahl, but they are stronger than most vibrator motors and were certainly enough to get me off, though not as quickly as the previously mentioned toys do.

The toy can either be used straight, which works well for clit-only stimulation when you’re playing on your own, or it can be twisted into a 90 degree angle, which gives you a great handle for G-spot-only stimulation when you’re playing on your own. When you’re with a partner, either position works well.

Did I mention that it’s cordless and rechargeable? Well, it is! An AC adapter comes with the toy and it’s very simple to plug in. The description of the toy on Adam & Eve’s website says that a single charge lasts roughly 30 to 35 minutes on the highest setting, and the instructions in the toy’s box tells  you to charge the toy before using it for the first time. However, it came already charged, I didn’t charge it before I used it the first time, I’ve used it 3 different times for a total of about 45 minutes of play and it STILL hasn’t died on me.

When I first saw this toy on Adam & Eve’s website, I was SO excited that I’d be able to have G-spot stimulation and clit stimulation AT THE SAME TIME with only ONE TOY when I was masturbating. Therein lies the ONLY problem I found with the Climax Twist: the toy is actually TOO long and when you insert the G-spot end of it, the rounded tip comes NO WHERE NEAR your clit.

Now I suppose if you had a REALLY deep G-spot, the Climax Twist would work as a simultaneous vibrator, but I believe for the normal woman, this toy fails at doing that.

What would make the toy better? Instead of having a twisting center, have a center made like a bendy straw. You know how you can bend & move & reposition a bendy straw? Yeah, like that. That way, you can have the G-spot vibrator in place and position the clit vibrator in whatever way works best for you. (Don’t worry, Adam & Eve, I only expect a small royalty when you start manufacturing the AWESOME dual vibrators based on my idea.)

As far as a powerful vibrator that can be used with a “friend” or on your G-spot and clit separately, the Climax Twist Vibrator(sold for $79.95)  succeeds marvelously.

And now it’s time for the breakdown:

PROS: Double ends gives you 2 options of pleasure, strong motor in each end, 7 different settings for each motor so you can find what works best for you, perfect width & length if you like to feel filled up, cordless, rechargeable, long battery life.

CONS: Cannot be used simultaneously on G-spot and clit, a little more pricey than other vibrators.

All in all, I was very satisfied with this toy, so I give it 4.5 out of 5 Happy Bamboos!

Disclaimer: I have a material connection and receive products, as in-kind payments, from Adam & Eve for review.

The Violet Vertical Vibrator was wholly disappointing. To demonstrate why, I’m going to go through the description that Adam & Eve provides for this product and tell you how each claim fails.

- “A supple heart-shaped base lets this vibrator stand up on any flat surface.” Yes, the base could be considered “supple,” but the vibrating bullet that fits inside the base STICKS OUT THE BOTTOM, causing the base not to be flush and causing the vibrator to stand at an angle.

- “The ultra-flexible and soft ribbed shaft bends easily to handle hard thrusts in any position!” Yes, the 4.5″ long & 1″ wide shaft IS flexible, but it made it feel like I was fucking a limp cock. I want my dildos like my men: rock hard and ready to pound me! *sigh* Also, the ribs are TOO soft. So soft that I could barely feel them inside of me.

- “The heart-shaped raised detail on the base is perfect for clitoral stimulation.” Umm, no. Just NO. This detail may be raised, but minutely so. Seriously, it’s barely raised. Even if it WERE raised enough to come in contact with my clit, though, the base is such a thick plastic that the vibrations are severely muted by the time they get to the nub. Even with my finger pressed to the nub, I could barely feel the vibrations.

- “This vibrator is like getting two great sex toys in one - use the bullet vibrator in the base and ride it for amazing g-spot stimulation, or take out the bullet and go after intense direct clitoral stimulation!” Ok, a few issues with this: 1) the dildo doesn’t touch the G-spot at all. It’s not AT ALL formed properly to hit it. 2) The bullet isn’t powerful enough to make me cum OUT of the plastic, how in the hell are the vibrations going to be strong enough to stimulate my G-spot (if the toy actually hit my G-spot) after travelling through all that plastic? Complete fail on both counts.

- “The pink and purple remote is comes with ribbed grips on either side, so no matter how wild your play gets, it’ll stay put!  Then just turn on your vibrator and click the remote’s trigger to cycle through 7 orgasmically good functions!” Yes, the remote is pretty cool. It’s a very unique remote, with one button for On/Off and a “trigger” to change the vibration functions. It also lights up so you can see what you’re doing in the dark. “7 orgasmically good functions,” though? Yeah, that’s a huge laugh. 7 functions, yes. FAR from orgasmic, though. Like I said before, the bullet is so lacking in power that it didn’t even get me close to orgasm.

Not good, right? Well, in case you didn’t have the energy to read through all of that, here’s the RECAP:

Pros: Cool & unique remote with “trigger” and it LIGHTS UP! It’s waterproof and easy to clean. Oh, and it’s purple.

Cons: EVERYTHING ELSE.

So, because this product was worthless but is redeemed just slightly by it’s remote, I give it a 1.5 out of 5 Happy Bamboos.

Disclaimer: I have a material connection and receive products, as in-kind payments, from Adam & Eve for review.

I’ve wanted a hands-free vibrator for a while now so when it was time to make my new toy list for Adam & Eve, I searched for one on their website. There aren’t a whole lot of hands-free, wireless vibrators, unfortunately, but I was excited when I came upon the Venus Penis “G” which seemed to be exactly what I was looking for: hands-free, wireless remote, vibrator, G-spot stimulator, PURPLE.

The Venus Penis “G” has thigh straps made of plastic that expand to fit women with large thighs (ME!), it has a 2.5″ G-spot stimulator, it has “fluttering wings”, “tantalizing ticklers” and a wireless remote control that offers 4 levels of “vibration, pulsation and escalation.” The remote control works up to 32 feet away.

I thought this wireless remote control toy would be a fun way for my man and I to play while we were out of the house. He could control the remote at the dinner table or in the movie theater and tease me mercilessly until I was ravenous and jumped him as soon as we got home or, if I couldn’t wait that long, took my frustration out on him in the car. Sounds awesome, right?!

Well, the reality of this vibrator didn’t live up to the fantasy. The Venus Penis IS hands-free, wireless AND purple, but that’s where the awesomeness ends. The toy itself is big and bulky, not something that I (or anyone, I think) would be able to wear out of the house and especially not walk around in, unless someone WANTS to look like a cowboy getting off a horse after a long trail ride. I certainly don’t.

The wings of the vibrator DON’T “flutter” at all, as the box claims, but just sit there. The “tantalizing ticklers” are anything but. They barely move when the vibrator is turned on. The “G-spot penis” fell short of my G-spot and did not provide any G-spot stimulation whatsoever. And, finally, the vibration strength is severely lacking.

When I tried out the toy, sitting on the couch, legs splayed as far apart as possible since the bulk of the unit made it uncomfortable to walk or sit properly, I could barely feel the vibrations on my clit. When I used my hand to push the vibrator closer to my pussy, I felt it enough to get me a bit excited, to get me wet, but it was far from getting me off.

Disappointment. Annoyance. DESPAIR!! Ok, it didn’t actually get to the point of despair, but it was highly annoying and disappointing. I just wanted to be able to be a good little slut and wear sex toys out in public! *sigh*

So, here’s the recap:

Positives - Pretty purple!, thigh straps that expand to fit us big girls, hands-free and wireless… yeah, that’s all I’ve got.

Negatives - Weak vibration, too-short (or poorly angled or both) G-spot stimulator, useless wings and ticklers, bulky unit.

Don’t bother with this disappointing toy. The Venus Penis “G” gets ONE out of FIVE Happy Bamboos.

Disclaimer: I have a material connection and receive products, as in-kind payments, from Adam & Eve for review.

With over 50 combinations of rotation and vibration, you’re sure to find a way for the Rotating G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator to hit the right spot with you - I certainly have! This toy is the best rabbit vibrator in my collection!!

Though this product from Adam and Eve is a little large, clunky and noisy, certainly not a toy for discretion, it does the job and it does it well. Though I read some customer reviews about this product that said the pearl section of the shaft was too wide to fit comfortably inside, I didn’t have the same problem. It’s about 1.5″ at it’s widest and the rotating pearls are perfect for stimulation the vaginal walls while the curved tip teases the G-spot perfectly.

The best part about this Rabbit, though, is the rabbit itself. The vibrating ears cradled my clit perfectly and delivered vibrations (in various speeds and patterns) equally on each side. When I rocked and rotated the shaft, the ears and the G-spot tip worked perfectly to bring me to a quick and dynamic climax.

In short:

Positives - strong vibration, lots of combinations to choose from, perfectly positioned G-spot tip, pretty pink color

Negatives - bulkiness, noise, may be too wide for some

At only $39.95, Adam and Eve’s Rotating G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator is a great deal! I give it 5 out of 5 Happy Bamboos!

I’ll be bringing over all of my stories and posts from my Blogspot account, but for now, enjoy my latest story, “His Show”!

He rushed into his media room and turned on the monitor.  If he was lucky, he wouldn’t have missed anything.  “Damn traffic,” he thought.  “Why was it so damn heavy at 8 o’clock in the evening?”  He loathed missing even a second of his nightly show.

As the screen flickered on, though, he saw that he was just in time.  She was just walking into the bathroom.  He was hoping this wouldn’t be just a shower night, but with his powerful pinhole cameras, he could see the tension and stress on her beautiful face and he knew it was bath time.

He sat back in his plush but firm leather chair and watched intently as she slowly stripped out of her skirt and blouse, dropping them haphazardly on the floor.  He used his remote control to zoom in for a better look as she pulled off her panties and freed her bountiful breasts from their restraints.

She moved her petite frame around the large bathroom, turning on the hot water in the tub, setting up her stereo with one of her favorite bath time CDs (he couldn’t tell which yet but was pretty sure it was either Jack Johnson, Jason Mraz or Matt Nathanson) and lighting candles.  Her breast swayed deliciously in time with her hips and he found himself growing rigid already.

She bent over the tub to pour some bath salts in, giving camera #1, positioned in the wall opposite the tub, a perfect shot of her firm ass and her thick pussy lips.  Camera #2, set at a downward angle in the wall above the shower nozzle, caught the bouncing of her breasts as she leaned over.  He licked his lips and opened his fly, exposing his hard cock to the cool air.

When the tub was full, she turned off the water, pressed play on the stereo (it was Matt Nathanson after all), turned off the lights and stepped into the candle-lit bath.  She sank down into the steamy water and he could see the stress melt away from her face as the water enveloped her, leaving only her head and the tips of her tits exposed to the air.

For about 20 minutes she was still and he thought she may have fallen asleep.  He took the opportunity to look her over, this woman that he’d seen so many times in the past few months.  Every time, though, he was amazed at how beautiful, how sensual she was.  Her thick auburn hair was now piled on top of her head, her luscious lips were slightly parted as she breathed deeply, her curvy yet slender body the perfect shade of healthy bronze.  He gently stroked himself as he took every inch of her in.

Though she seemed completely relaxed, he knew from experience that her baths weren’t complete without one final release of tension.  She proved him correct as her hands started to roam, fingernails tracing patterns on her skin.  Over the rhythmic music, he could hear her start to moan as one hand pinched her nipples and the other ventured between her legs.

It wasn’t long before her hand left her sweet spot and reached to the basket next to the tub.  Without looking, she picked up what she was looking for: an oddly shaped, pink vibrator.  He noticed that this one seemed to be her new favorite toy, ever since she had gotten her new order a few weeks ago.

She draped one leg over the side of the tub and brought the vibrator down between her thighs.  Zooming in camera #2, he could see that the she was using the nub of the vibrator to trace along her pussy, from her clit down to her ass and back up.  Circling the nub around her clit, her moans became louder and he stroked himself faster.

She then flipped the vibrator over and cradled her clit in the cupped side.  Her fingers pulled at her nipples as she held the powerfully vibrating tool to her clit.  His hips bucked in time with hers as they both got closer and closer to climax.  Her scream of ecstasy erupted just as his seed did.  They both collapsed, her against the coolness of the tub, him against the coolness of the leather chair, and waited for their breathing to slow down.

He started to clean himself up, eyes still glued on the screen, and she placed the vibrator back in the basket, pulled the plug on the tub and stood up, wrapping a towel around herself.  A small smile played on her lips as she stepped out of the tub, turned on the lights, turned off the stereo and blew out the candles.  She began to leave the bathroom but paused and turned around.  Looking straight at the camera, straight through to him, she said, “Good night,” and walked out of the bathroom.