It’s Panda, Miss Dementia If You’re Nasty

So don’t treat me like one.

Just because I disagree with some of your opinions, just because I express my concern about some of your actions, does NOT mean that I am judging you or that I am personally attacking you.

There is a HUGE difference between a personal attack and a dissenting opinion. This is a difference that not enough people understand. There are BAD people and then there are good people that make the occasional bad decision. When someone is under the opinion that an action you took was a bad decision, they are not calling you a bad person.

There are a lot of bloggers who get nasty, ridiculously insulting personal attacks via blog comments/emails/formspring questions/etc., but far too many of these bloggers are too quick to lump people who express dissenting opinions without personal attacks into this asshole category. Yes, sometimes people express dissenting opinions in heated, passionate ways, but even if they are calling your opinion ridiculous or your action “dickish”, that does not equate to them talking shit about you.

There are some bloggers who also claim that people are judgmental from a distance and judge only on what they read without seeking more details. I think this is silly because why should I, as a blog reader, assume that you are leaving details out of your stories or accounts of your experiences? You tell me what you want me to know, so of course I have to draw my conclusions from what I have read instead of assuming you haven’t told the whole story and asking you for the missing details. If I post a comment about your blog post and you think I have misunderstood what you were saying, then either clarify the points I misunderstood or just write me off as not understanding the intent of what you were saying or make sure you put everything you want people to know in the original blog post. There’s no need to take it as a personal affront, there’s no need to get hostile or pull the “DON’T JUDGE ME! YOU DON’T KNOW ME!” card.

I can understand not enjoying when people disagree with you (after all, everybody likes to be validated) but please, I beg of you, take a step back and evaluate the comment from a non-emotional standpoint before you react. Did the commenter say “I rarely hear you mention safe sex. I was wondering what you use to practice safe sex, if anything?” or did they say, “You never use protection when you whore around and I think it’s disgusting and you ought to be ashamed of yourself”? One is a personal attack, the other is a harmless question. I promise you, your life will be filled with a lot less drama if you can make this distinction.

Disclaimer: Though this post was inspired by a few certain bloggers and I took examples from certain blog posts, I in no way dislike these bloggers or think they are bad people. Quite the opposite, actually. I am simply disagreeing with the idea that expressing dissenting opinions or expressing concern is a personal attack. The End.